Welcome, Prospective Students

On behalf of all the faculty here at the University of This Box of Kleenex, I wish to offer our thanks for your interest in our imaginary institution. As you may of may not already know, the University of This Box of Kleenex is amongst the most prestigious of all the fake, non-acredited universities in the world. In the past ten years, with the expansion of the internet, fake, non-acredited universities have been springing up left and right, but ONLY the UTBK can truthfully state that we are based on a facial tissue that has been pleasing customers for decades. Our university was founded on the idea that instead of books and ideas, a philosophy that has been used for hundreds of years in nearly all of the legitimate institutions of the world. We believe that when such an idea is promoted, it severely limits the width and depth needed to be fully educated, by alienating those in society that were not born with "intelligence." Although it is true that there are schools out there (USC, Harvard, Yale, etc.) that will bypass the required mental skill required of a high level university in the case that a prospective student has a high quantity of money, these schools are simply not doing enough to extend education to those that can't get it on their own. Rather than base our students on how well they do in school or how much money they donate, we instead base all our curriculum around one basic human need: clean noses. Our founder, Dr. Thurston Granger, was told as a young boy, "keep your nose clean, kid," and this life philosophy remained with him up to the ripe old age of 62, when he decided to give back to the world a little bit of what he recieved from it by beginning the University of This Box of Kleenex. Here at the University, we have no tests, no classes, no books, and no teachers. We don't even have a campus. Some of our competitors even say that we "do not exist." While this may be true, we stick to what Dr. Granger believed, that "even though there's no school, that's no cause to stop giving people diplomas." Once again, I'd like to thank you for your interest in the University, and remember, "keep your nose clean, kid!" -Dr. Thurston Granger II, Dean of Admissions

Contact Information

Dr. Thurston Granger II

Name:

UTBK@guywiththecoat.com

Email: