Solicitor’s Soliloquy
By Nathaniel Jones

As a child of nine or ten, I happened on a pad and pen
The consequence of which would change my life.
I wrote a little limerick (That if you heard would make you sick)
And it was read by my dear father’s wife.
As she looked for things to throw at me she forbade my writing poetry,
Saying such a thing is quite pathetic.
But a rebel I was then, even at the age of ten -
I left home to lead a life aesthetic.
I hadn’t gotten far, when I viewed a fancy car
That changed my artistic goals quite quickly.
I decided a life rich would be more than just a stitch
More enjoyable than being thin and sickly.
Great wealth would be the hardest to get as “starving artist”
So I set out to find a new vocation.
I found an English lawyer who would be my new employer,
After giving me my education.
He said “if the boy would learn he could become quite an attorney”
And before long I served in my first trial.
Although I found it hard, As an aesthetic lawyer/ bard,
To fight for crooks and that old pedophile,
My clients were found free of guilt, Soon I was rich as Vanderbilt,
And the money eased my troubled conscience.
I won every case I landed; with great honor I was branded
The best defense for people who con gents.
But I knew deep in my heart that I was meant to create art,
And so I was thrilled to meet Reginald Bunthorne.
He received me as a visitor, I told him I was a solicitor,
And we knew we had a match that couldn’t lose.
He used poetry to get affection, I used him for cash collection,
His poetry no woman could refuse
Until he fell in love with Patience, who escaped his best persuasions
Leaving the fleshly poet Bunthorne baffled.
He had never been declined, with his demeanor so refined,
And to solve his troubles I suggested he be raffled.
The raffle was disrupted, my plans were interrupted,
In came a brand-new poet to adore.
But in the end it worked out wella, I wound up with Lady Ella,
And thus concludes the tale of The Solicitor.