Nutty As An Almond Roll

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Hamlet was a Great Dane

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Psychiatric Evaluation of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

Penned by Nathaniel Jones and Lysander J. Wise, ghost written by Dr. Thurston Granger

I.

One question which has been for many years baffling those in the psychiatric, as well as educational, proffessions is what on earth was William Shakespeare thinking when he wrote the play Hamlet, seeing as how the notion of “high school english” would not exhist for several centuries. The prevailing theory is that Mr. Shakespeare did not intend for his play to be studied in a school at all when he wrote it, which, as all INTELLIGENT people realize, is complete rubbish. After all, if he had not intended Hamlet to be studied, why would he have written study questions in the back of the book? So you see, Hamlet, the Prince of Denmark, was neither sane nor insane. The reason for this is that if he were clearly one or the other, than it would severely limit the activities which would occur hundreds of years later, for example: this assignment.

Hamlet Was A Great Dane

By Nathaniel Jones

Hamlet. Man. Dog. Horny little bastard. What’s up? The idea. He = all three. Yet he is none. But the first. And the last. Or not? Great Dane = dog. Great Dane = Hamlet. If A=B, and B=C, than A=C. Dog=Hamlet. You fool! I am an English scholar, not a VETERINARIAN! I’ll be in my trailer.