I have been cursed with the one of the most horrible thing possible:

Parents with a sense of Humor.

Son of John and Rosemary Butts, they thought they'd go for the name that would get a laugh at parties: Seymore.

Seymore Butts. That's me. I am Seymore Butts.

It still seems impossible, even to me.

For thirty years, people ask me my name.

"Seymore Butts." I reply.

No, Seriously, What's your name?

"Seymore Butts. Honestly."

Oh. I'm so sorry. I think I'll have some more punch.

Ordering something over the phone is hell.

Give them my address, phone number, credit card number. Name.

Excuse me?

"Seymore Butts."

Look, we don't have time for prank callers.

Click.

But hey, it could be worse.

My brother's name is Harry