INT. OFFICE - NIGHT

               After a long night of reading mind-numbingly inane
               screenplays, producer JACK PRATZ leans his head against the
               back of his leather recliner and lets out a sigh as he tosses
               another waste of paper into the garbage.


                                   JACK
                         I swear, if the next screenplay I
                         read isn't gold, I'm jumping out
                         the window.


               Jack reaches to the pile of scripts at his side and blindly
               picks one out - "The Sixth Floor," by Nathaniel Jones. He
               flips through it, slowly at first, then picking up speed as
               he realizes how money this screenplay is.

                                   JACK
                         Wow! And I thought "Casablanca" was
                         good! But this! This! The tension!
                         The backstory! It's all so vivid!

               He places the script on his desk. He grabs the next script in
               the pile - an episode of The Simpsons called "Duff Conquers
               All," again by Nathaniel Jones.

                                   JACK
                         Wow - drama AND comedy? Is there
                         anything this guy can't do?

               He reads the episode with giddy glee, places the script on
               his desk, and pulls out another script by Nathaniel Jones - a
               collection of educational skits, including "Thomas Hardy-Har
               Har-Har," "The Plural of 'Play' is 'Plays'," and "Goofus and
               Galant Teach us about Communication."

                                   JACK
                         These scenes put the FUN in
                         FUNdamental!

               Jack is so excited that he hops up and down on one foot, then
               the other, and then does eleventy-seven backflips. That's a
               lot.

               The next script on the pile is collection of humorous scenes -
               again by Nathaniel Jones. This set includes "The Comedy
               Stylings of God," "Faundiana, the Canadian Princess," "The
               Marx Brothers Car Dealership," "Musky's Revenge," and the
               award-winning homecoming skit "Who's the Lone Ranger?"

                                   JACK
                         These are so good, I have suddenly
                         gained the ability to fly!

               Jack flies around the room, laughing at the hillarity of the
               scenes, and tosses that script onto the desk.

               The final script of the evening is a foreign film called
               "Anti-'Forest Death'," in its original German, and translated
               into English by an online automated translator.

                                   JACK
                         Das ist sehr gut! That is very
                         good!

               Having finished off the night reading the scripts of
               Nathaniel Jones, Jack has regained the will to live, and has
               learned how to fly.

                                   JACK
                         I'd say that Nathaniel Jones is the
                         single greatest screenwriter of our
                         time! He'll make my movie studio
                         gazillions!

               Jack then grabs his coat off the coat rack, and grabs his
               horse off of the horse rack, and he then rides into the
               sunset.

                                                                CUT TO:



               INT. PRESIDENT'S OFFICE - DAY

               VICTOR MANLY, the president of Callipygian Pictures, sits at
               his desk playing tic-tac-toe.

               Suddenly, the door exlodes into the room, and there on
               horseback sits Jack, with the pile of scripts in hand.

                                   VICTOR
                         Jack! What is the meaning of this?
                         That door was expensive!

                                   JACK
                         Forget about the door, Victor -
                         these scripts I have will make us
                         enough money that we could buy a
                         million doors!

                                   VICTOR
                         Imagine how much knocking could be
                         had with a million doors! What
                         screenwriter could hold so much
                         power?

                                   JACK
                         His name is Nathaniel Jones - look
                         at all of these fantastic stories I
                         have brought!

                                   VICTOR
                         Nathaniel Jones? I do believe I've
                         heard of him...

               Victor shuffles through papers on his desk and picks up a few
               scripts.

                                   VICTOR
                         Yes - one of my readers sent these
                         up this morning; said she had an
                         almost religious experience reading
                         them. I haven't had a chance to
                         look at them yet.

                                   JACK
                         Well, read them now, my friend, so
                         that you too may see the way!

               Victor flips open the first script, a post-college melodrama
               titled "The Cat." He reads page after page, his eyes growing
               wide.

                                   VICTOR
                         What is this? I've never before
                         been so moved by a story - that
                         poor man! And that poor cat!

                                   JACK
                         Don't stop there, Victor - read on!

               Victor hands Jack "The Cat," and picks up the next
               screenplay, a two part unromantic comedy called "Breaking Up
               is Hard to Do." With tears in his eyes, Victor reads the
               screenplay the whole way through.

                                   VICTOR
                         I no understand what ten years of
                         therapy could not make clear to me -
                         my life now has meaning!

                                   JACK
                         Yes - the only thing to do now is
                         call upon this Nathaniel Jones, and
                         hire him to write for us the most
                         magnificent movie of all time!

                                   VICTOR
                         It shall be done, Jack. It shall be
                         done.

               The two men look at each other, and with a smile on his face,
               Victor reaches for the telephone.

                                                         FADE TO BLACK.