Character Description

By Nathaniel Jones

Musky, the janitor at a local high school, was tied and gagged by a gang of hooligans, who stole his clothes and dumped lemon pinesol on his head, then brought him up to a mountain, because they thought that might be funny. He is in his late 40s, and wishes he had kept his job at the Kmart.

Musky’s Monologue:

Hey, come on, fellas, I’m just a janitor! If you want to play a prank, toilet paper my house or something, cuz I mean jeez, it’s cold out here. Oh! What? It’s raining! No, wait! What is that? You kids! That’s my pinesol! You think that’s funny, do you? Well, you won’t think it’s so funny when I turn your names in to the principal! I’ll tell you what! Now, you fellas, what are your names? Hey fellas! Oh, what! What’s this, a gag now? (he is gagged) (Mumbled) You think this is funny? I’m just a janitor! Oh, what’s that? Pinesol again! That’s a waste of pinsol! That stuffs not free! (pushes gag out of his mouth with his tongue) Oh! I got pinesol in my mouth! Ach! Actually that’s not so bad. Kind of like sweet and sour. What? Is that a car? Oh, driving away, are you? That’s what I thought! Run! Chickens! Man! Now how do I get home from here? Let’s see… (as stumbles around) Let’s see here… that’s a tree… Oops, another tree. Okay, whoah, there’s a ditch. Ok, what’s this here? Hmmm… not a tree… kind of soft… comforting… like a teddy bear. Teddy bear? BEAR! Augh! Man! I knew I shouldn’t have quit my K-mart job!