Culture Shock, 2004

           Hello! Hello! Looky here! It's another Culture Shock for another Year. I am Nathaniel Jones, that guy who, every year, puts on the mittens of knowledge to deliver to you, Gentle Reader, from the past, to the future, my rambling recollections of recent... some word starting with R that means events and trends in culture. Let's get to it.
           I am writing this issue of Culture Shock on January 3, 2004 - three days after the end of the year 2003, one of the most ridiculous years of my life. Not to say that very serious things didn't happen, but rather that everything - serious and not - was done in such a way that when you read about it, you'll say to yourself "wait... is he joking?" But I'm not! All this stuff really happened! Cross my heart and hope to not die for a long time! Anyway, let's get to it.
           When last I wrote, Iraq was being searched by UN Weapons Inspectors for Weapons of Mass Destruction. According to the Bush administration, Iraq had all sorts of nasty weapons: atomic bombs, anthrax, mobile biological weapon manufacturing plants... enough weaponry to pose a very imminent threat to the United States and its allies. The solution? Blow 'em up. However, the United Nations (mostly France and Germany) said "what? Whoah - hold on, Whoah! We don't know that they have weapons of Mass Destruction! Let's actually find out if it's true before we blow 'em up." This made the USA upset, and in retaliation, the word "French" was stricken from menus across the capital. Thus, "Freedom Fries," "Freedom Toast," salad with "Freedom Dressing," etc. were created. Did I mention that this was a ridiculous year?
           Unfortunately, re-naming foods did not satisfy the United States, and so the US said "poo on you, United Nations! Get outta our way!" and the weapons inspectors were pulled out of Iraq, and bombs fell. The Bush administration did not want to appear unilateral in its actions, though, so they formed the Coalition of the Willing! This list of countries is rather puny, with three of the big five countries (France, Germany, Russia) opting out. Also, Europe was redefined into two categories: "Old Europe" (countries that opposed the war) and "New Europe" (countries that opposed the war, but whose leaders decided to put their countries on the list of the Willing in exchange for big piles of money).
           Once the war began, it was only a couple months until George W. Bush was flown onto an aircraft carrier with large banners proclaiming "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!" It was the end to the War With Iraq, and everyone was pleased with how quickly it ended - and there were only ten thousand civilian deaths! Hooray! The trouble with the end of this war, however, was that it was difficult to see why it was over. Was Saddam dead? No. Was Saddam captured? No. Were the Weapons of Mass Destruction found? No. Did the people of Iraq welcome the US with open arms, glad to be rid of Saddam? No. In fact, since the end of the war, attacks on the US have steadily increased. It seems like every other day we hear that it is the deadliest day since the end of the war. I believe that somewhere around a thousand US soldiers have been killed since combat ended, and the body count is rising every day. You can bet that there are many more Iraqi soldiers and civilians killed than we ever hear about on the news.
           One of the biggest events in the war was the recent capture of Saddam Hussein (several months after the end of the war) from his hiding place in a hole. There are reports that Saddam was being held for quite a while by another country, and that the US planted him in the whole so that he could be dramatically captured, but hey - if it makes good television, who needs truth? And besides, the capture of Saddam was a nice distraction from the fact that even now, over a year after the search for WMDs began, still none have been found. But don't give up hope - I don't doubt that they'll find some weapons. Probably right before the presidential election in November.
           So, the way things stand now in the War on Terror, Saddam is captured, Osama is nowhere to be found, the colored security code is in place (as I write this, we are in an "orange" terrorism alert stage), and everybody is pretty freaked out about terrorism. Better go buy some more duct tape!
           In other politics, since I am in California during the school year, one of the big stories this year was that Arnold Schwarzenegger, body builder and star of the Terminator trilogy, was elected the Governor of California after Gray Davis was recalled. Arnold beat out some mighty worthy competitors, too, including comedian Gallagher, porn star Mary Carey, Hustler Magazine creator Larry Flint, actor Gary Coleman, and many, many more. You're probably asking "whatchootalkinbout, Nathaniel?" Just remember, this is all true, and all ridiculous.
           Of course, now the bigger election news is the Presidential election this coming November. According to polls, Bush will probably win (capturing Saddam was a big boost), but I don't give up hope. The trouble is, there are so many different Democratic candidates, and nobody really likes any of them. If only there was one that stood out as a really great candidate. Oh well - let's just hope that the winner of the Democratic nomination is at least good enough to beat Bush in November. There will be more to be said about this in the next Culture Shock.
           Moving away from politics and into culture, I heard it said that 2003 could be the Year of the Homosexuals. Why? Just take a look at some of the most popular television shows of the year: "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," "Boy Meets Boy," "Queer as Folk," and there were a bunch of others. Also, gay rights have been in the news as some states have taken steps towards legalizing same-sex marriages. In Canada it's already legal. Also, several religions have allowed gay men to rise to high positions in the church. In Texas, sodomy is no longer a crime, and several other states have gotten rid of laws that are anti-homosexual.
           This all sounds like a good thing for a freedom-loving country like the US, doesn't it? Not exactly - every time the homosexual community gets a right, there's more of an uprising from the religious conservatives to oppose them - the Bush administration may even add a constitutional amendment that limits marriage to a man and a woman, which takes away states' power to allow same-sex marriage. Which side will win? Only time will tell.
           Recently, the TV craze has been stupid spoiled rich girls. For example: heiress to the Hilton fortune Paris Hilton, who is more famous now for her on-line sex tape than anything else, was recently given a television show where she goes to live on a farm to lead "The Simple Life," but in reality they just whine about things, and they mess up everything they do, and don't learn any lesson because they're rich. No sir, I don't like it. What I do like, on the other hand, is the increase in quality programming on HBO, and other premium channels. I would like it even better if I actually got any of those channels.
           Luckily, I can still see the best television shows thanks to a new trend: TV on DVD. Pretty much any TV series you can think of is on DVD. I currently own DVDs of "Mr. Show," "Family Guy," "Monty Python's Flying Circus," and "The Jack Benny Show." The DVDs of television give better visual quality than you can get on most programs, as well as some interesting bonus features. I predict an increase of TV on DVD in the coming years.
           In music, the Recording Industry has been hard at work trying to get people to stop using Kazaa, and other illegal Mp3 (music files) swapping software. They have started suing individual users, as well as putting trick mp3s online. The trick mp3s sometimes have viruses that wipe out users computers, or the less evil ones are just blank files. Also, some record labels have started selling individual tracks online for about a dollar each song, so that people can download songs from the internet legally. I still prefer my good old CDs.
           Speaking of CDs, one of the trends I've noticed lately is an increase of CDs that have DVDs with them. I like this trend very much. Two of the CDs I bought recently had DVDs along with them, containing videos of live performances, film from recording the album, and other fun things to watch. When I'm paying fifteen dollars for a CD, it bugs me, but when it has a DVD in with it, it makes me happy. On the flip side of that, some DVDs come with CDs with them, but that's less common.
           DVDs are increasing in popularity, and DVD players are getting cheaper and cheaper. Some stores sell them for as little as $19.99, although those are cheaply made, probably by using sweat shop labor in a third world country. But man, that's a great deal, isn't it? DVDs are also getting fancier - more disks, with more bonus features. Unfortunately, the price of DVD movies is going up as well. And I am also bothered by the constant re-release of DVDs with more extras. Sometimes I'll buy a DVD, and then a month later they'll come out with the "Better Than Yours" edition, and I'll say "drat!" I bought the "Terminator 2 Ultimate Edition" last year, and this year they came out with a new one with more bonus features on it. Poo on that, I say if you have an "Ultimate" edition, they can't bring out another one. Or if they do, I should get a free upgrade.
           This year the last installment of the Lord of the Rings trilogy came out, and what they did for the DVD releases of the first two was they came out with the DVD, and a few months later, they came out with a very special version with 4 disks and all sorts of stuff. Now I think each of the first two has at least three versions of the DVD, some including toys, and each movie can cost almost $50! That's too much for me. But whatcha gonna do?
           Speaking of movies, there were some good ones this year. The surprise hit was "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl." I didn't see that in the theaters because I thought it would be another "Country Bears" (a terrible movie based on a Disneyworld attraction), but when they showed it at the on-campus theater on Halloween I saw it, and enjoyed it thoroughly. The very expected hit was the conclusion of Lord of the Rings - I saw that the day it came out, and thought it was great. Probably my biggest disappointment was actually two movies - the second and third installments of The Matrix trilogy. However, they did take advantage of another new thing in movies: showing regular movies at IMAX theaters. I saw the third Matrix at IMAX, and even though the movie wasn't that great, the IMAX showing was so huge that it was worth it. I highly recommend seeing movies on the huge screen when you get the chance. Woop.
           Many of the movies that I hear are really great from the year I haven't seen yet, so I can't officially recommend them, but from what I hear, the must see movies include "Elephant," "American Splendor," "The Triplets of Belleville" (not sure that title's right), and some others. Although I have seen more movies this year than I have in quite a while, almost all of them were big Hollywood movies, so I missed out on the Indies. As I write, I'm remembering other movies: "School of Rock" was a fun movie, as was "Big Fish," and also the newest Christopher Guest Mockumentary "A Mighty Wind."
           In the area of consumer electronics, Mp3 players and digital cameras have worked their way into pretty much every kind of gadget you can think of. New cell phones, palm pilots - even refrigerators have mp3 players and digital cameras in them or available as an add-on. Before long, you'll be able to buy a digital camera and it'll have another digital camera and an mp3 player somewhere on it.
           Video games didn't really do much this year - we still have the play station 2, Xbox, and game cube. There is a new game boy (Game Boy Advance SP), but that's it for new formats. Either the game industry is taking a break from developing new systems, or video games are beginning to fade away. Nah - I bet next year we get a new video game system. Maybe the Nintendo Game Sphere or something. I'm still waiting for a nice virtual reality game system. Come on, industry! It's 2004! Get with it!
           Now, Gentle Reader, I'll end this Culture Shock with some predictions. With a couple months of the presidential elections, Bush will find WMDs and/or Osama bin Laden, everyone will cheer, and then it'll be found out that it was all a sham and Bush set up the whole thing to get re-elected. Hopefully that'll happen before the election takes place. I think this year will not be as ridiculous as the last one, and the economy will stay about the same. Same-sex marriage will be banned, but that will be overturned, making it legal. We'll make it to mars, and install an Mp3 player and a digital camera on it. People will forget what a modem is as everyone switches to high-speed internet, and people will forget what an antenna is as everyone switches to cable or satellite television. People will forget what a video tape is as everyone watches DVDs and records their TV programs on the digital recorders (Tivo and whatnot). And everyone will be blissfully, Blissfully happy. Until next year, remember that everything goes around - what's bad now will be great later, what's cool now will be passé tomorrow, and no matter what, tomorrow will be another day.

Peace Love and Joy,

Nathaniel Jones.