Culture Shock, 2003

By Nathaniel Jones

Well hello, world! This is Nathaniel Jones, back again for the next installment of “Culture Shock,” the slappy happy view of the past year, as seen by my skewed perspective. I’m sure you must be saying to yourself, “skewed? That’s quite a sophisticated word for you to be using!” and indeed it is. I use such words because now I am a College Guy, instead of a High School Guy, as I was in the previous Culture Shocks. This means that instead of irrelevant views by a young child, all the opinions in this one are highly important, and completely relevant because they are being written by a guy with a college education. So if you disagree with me, you are the one that’s wrong, because I’m in college, and you’re not! Unless you’re in college, in which case I’m still right just because I say so.

And speaking of me saying so, let’s start this thing. I should start out by saying that, whereas I usually write these at the end of December or the beginning of January, I am writing this one towards the end of January (Jan. 24^th, to be exact. And since this is a historical document, being exact is best.) The only thing this really effects is that the events I am writing about will be different because of all the things that have happened since 2002 ended, so if you see something, and say, “hey! That wasn’t 2002, it was 2003!” that’s because I’m writing this later than usual. Ok, NOW let’s start this thing.

So, what happened in 2002? I say to that, what DIDN’T happen in 2002? Well, let’s first go back to Culture Shock 2002 to see what were the big things going on, and from that I’ll do an update, and then move on to new topics. So, the big topic last year was September 11^th. Unsurprisingly, the repercussions of that event are the big topics for this year’s big topics. Where we last left off, I was talking about how George W. Bush was using the sorrow of Americans to pass piles of legislation that would outrage people if they knew what was going on, and the beginning of the War on Terror.

Since then, the topic of crazy legislation has dropped off (well, either that or I just haven’t been “in the know” about such things) and the big thing right now is the War on Terror, or “America VS The World.” I’m sure that you people in the future will know all about this, but I’ll talk about it anyway. Returning once more back to 2001, we see that Osama Bin Laden, the man that was supposed to have been behind the Sept. 11^th attacks, was the US’ main priority, and George W. Bush assured us that he would be caught and killed. Now it appears that perhaps it was not Osama that was behind the attacks, but rather a princess from… some other middle eastern country. But the country SHE’s from is an ally, so we haven’t really looked too much into the possibility that Osama’s not our guy. Let’s say, just for now, that Osama’s the guy. Nearly a year and a half after 9/11/01, has Bush made good on his promise? Not in the least. As a matter of fact, Osama Bin Laden is pretty much a dead topic – no body knows where he is, and nobody cares, because now we see that the REAL bad guy is Saddam Hussein. After all, he gassed his own people!

Going back in time once more, we should talk about the somewhat recent election, just briefly. You see, in the recent election, republicans took the House and the Senate, which gives George W. Bush control of two of the branches of government, and if you look at how the Supreme Court has been acting, he’s pretty much got control of that, too. So now Bush controls all three branches of government! Checks and balances? We don’t need no stinkin’ checks and balances!

Anyway, with all this power, Bush decided to go forward with his plan to attack Iraq. Nevermind that Iraq has no connection to Sep. 11^th, and he has done nothing to us that would warrant a war, Saddam’s got to go! He gassed his own people! Many people were upset that Bush wanted to go to war, and anti-war folks (like me) were happy to see that he was going to go through the United Nations before bombing, because that would mean that perhaps there would be a chance that the war could be stopped before it began.

It didn’t go as well as it could’ve – the threat against Iraq was passed in the UN, but luckily it was adjusted enough that Bush had to let weapons inspectors search Iraq and find evidence of weapons of mass destruction before they would go in and start bombing. As of now, the weapons inspectors have been there for a few months, and have not found anything (other than some empty warheads, that don’t really count because A – they’re empty, and B – they’re short-range, so they don’t pose a threat to the US) and the inspectors have been allowed free access to anywhere they want to go in Iraq. Iraq still says they don’t have weapons of mass destruction, and Bush still says they do. Because Bush still says they do, he’s begun now to push for bombing NOW, because Iraq is “not cooperating,” even though they have not done anything BUT cooperate with everything the inspectors say.

Outside of government, the people of the world are realizing that this war is needless, and the anti-war effort is growing. France, Germany, Russia, and China have all said that if Bush were to take a vote in the UN as to whether or not to attack, they would all vote ‘no,’ leaving the only countries in favor of war the United States and England, and in both of those countries, there are so many war protests, anti-war ads, etc. that many people are changing their minds about the wisdom of this war. I read today that George W. Bush’s support ratings are at their lowest since before 9/11. Nevertheless, Bush is still rallying for the war, and I also read that he created a new office in the White House for no reason other than trying to convince the world that the war is a good thing (there’s our tax dollars at work!) but hopefully the war will not happen, and we’ll stop idea that war = peace. That’s the current state of the United States VS the World. Now I’ll move on to the fun part.

Going back to last year’s thing about Napster, the Record Industry is taking new steps to eliminate the other file sharing programs (kazaa, etc.) from the world by prosecuting individuals rather than corporation, in the hopes that they can scare people with the threat of lawsuits into stopping downloading movies and music. I don’t see that happening anytime in the near future, tho.

Once again, not a lot of great movies put out by Hollywood. There are a few that are definitely worth seeing, tho. My picks for the year are “Donnie Darko,” “Bowling for Columbine,” and “Waking Life.” “Donnie Darko” is a movie about this kid in high school who survives a freak accident involving a plane engine crashing into his bed because he was drawn out of bed by a six-foot tall rabbit that tells him the world is going to end in 28 days. “Bowling for Columbine” is Michael Moore’s newest documentary, and many say it’s his best. In it, Michael Moore travels the country trying to discover what it is about America that makes us so violent. “Waking Life” is an animated film about a guy who is dreaming that he’s walking around a city, talking to people about life. Some people may find it a bit dull, but those that are into movies that involve more thought than action will like it. And the animation style (rotoscope) is pretty crazy to watch.

As far as the favored method of watching movies, DVDs have pretty much signed the death warrant for VHS tapes. In most movie stores, the DVD section now is larger than the VHS section, and many more people have DVD players now. So that’s what’s going on with that.

Well, this year I gave into technology and got a cell phone. So I guess that means that I can’t make fun of people with cell phones anymore… oh well.

I’m trying to figure out what topics haven’t been covered… Music! I haven’t mentioned the music trends. Well, happily, the teen pop phase is drifting away. Woo hoo! And now we have piles of punk bands. It’s not a lot better, but at least some of them write their own songs. I recently discovered “Tenacious D,” a band with Jack Black as the lead singer. They have some good songs, especially “Tribute.”

On TV recently, reality TV shows have over run everything else. I’m not a fan of reality TV, so I don’t have much to say except for “WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING?” There’s a show on FOX now that puts people against animals to see who will win in different contests. Now, I don’t know about you, but such contests as “who can pull more: an elephant, or fifty midgets?” seems like a little much. Some big TV news is that this season is the last for the show “Friends.” “The Simpsons” is still around for now, but it may be ending in the next few years. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to work on it a bit before it disappears. But I won’t mind if I don’t. For the best TV shows, cable is the place to be right now. I’m a fan of “The Daily Show” especially. So, yeah. TV.

Now let’s have some predictions for the future: George W. Bush will eventually get his war with Iraq, and tens or hundreds of thousands of people will die, and nothing good will come of it. Once we attack them, they will attack us, and I’ll have a new Sep. 11^th to tell you about in the next one of these. On a lighter note, in 2004, George W. Bush will be ridden out of the White House on a rail, and he’ll be replaced by someone that is much less violent. Next year there will be more bad economic times, and more companies that merged in the 90s will split up, and the world will be better. McDonalds will start serving real food, and people will start eating there again, and when they do, McDonalds will go back to serving cheap unhealthy food. The Internet will get faster, there will be more channels on TV, and less good shows to watch. But in the end, everyone will be blissfully, blissfully happy. Well, I’ll wrap this up now, and look forward to a better year. And hopefully next year I won’t be writing from a bunker in some “Axis of Evil” country. I hope this paper finds you well, and I hope you gained a bit of info-tainment from reading it. Until next year, remember: no matter how dark the night gets, the dawn is always right around the corner.

Much Love,

Nathaniel Jones